Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
