shes about as inviting as chlamydia
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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