He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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