Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize