Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
