I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
