she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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