Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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