i just had sex bonerless
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
