explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
