Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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