Small penises have feelings too.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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