people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
