found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
