"it" just moved
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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