Don't you send me to vm
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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