I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
