We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i barfeds in our rink
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
