Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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