Plan B is the new Plan A
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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