Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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