when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
