She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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