So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
