drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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