when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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