A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
