Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
