for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
