So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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