Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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