In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize