Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
