last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
