he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
