Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize