it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
