sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
