I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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