It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
