i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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