Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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