break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
