had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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