Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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