Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
