A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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