So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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