He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
