xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
