You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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