So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
