He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize