I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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