Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
