i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
