If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I need to stop coming to work sober
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize