woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
