i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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