your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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