Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
